Reason to Pause

 

I take a  midmorning time-out daily, between my reading and writing session and my dynamic active session.  Before I go play.  It is a time to sit and think and compose my day without activity or chores or lists.  Nothing to read and nothing to write, no devices, I force myself to sit and plan and appreciate small things, wherever I am, like the flow of a stream thru a mountain meadow or a Bougainvillea bush near the ocean or a Saguaro Cactus tree framing the rim of the hat on Sombrero peak in the desert.  I am instantly and constantly drawn to dabble with some distraction, such as a skewed hammock, a damp wetsuit, or an imperfectly babbling desert fountain, but I resist the overpowering impulse to do something, anything, everything.

For five minutes I force myself to do nothing and my thoughts quickly coalesce into appreciation, improvement and resolve.  How swiftly my thoughts are stripped of practicality and purpose and are allowed to float where they wish.   It is difficult to resist my penchant to produce, to optimize or to improve things, and just let things be.  After five minutes I intuitively have my marching orders prioritized in an efficient order and have a focus for the day.  Magically.

This forced incubation period was effective when I was in the working world, the fast lane, the rat race.  I would go swimming a few days a week in a local pool where I would get my own lane, if not the entire pool to myself.  After a confusing morning with assignments and projects backing up and unsolvable problems daunting me, I welcomed to cool, calm silence of the water.  

After warming up with a long slow progression I would settle into my usual workout counting without numbers as the laps ticked away.  The problems of the morning were seldom overtly on my mind but were nestled in my subconscious churning effortlessly as I thought of more pleasant and irrelevant things; water, women or wine.  I swim breaststroke and kicking laps for variety and a rest.  My pace increased finally as I hit my stride and finished with fast sprints and intervals where I would speed up incrementally.  Mindlessly.

After a brief warm down I would rest out in the sun for 20 minutes in the summer, or go back to the office for lunch and a quick nap in the winter.  When I finally got back to work I would start with something easy and instantly gratifying before tackling the larger problems.  More-often-than-not I would have things magically prioritized and broken down to the core issues.  I would have ideas for solutions, if not the complete problem mastered.  All that was left was the details of the solution, dotting the i’s and crossing the t’s.  Voila. 

Many things work out that way, the harder you try the worse you do.  Like skiing powder or riding a bike, thinking of someone’s name or sinking a putt.  Ready, aim, relax.  Do what you can to prepare and then let your inner mind take over.  You cant think about riding a bike and it takes a million motions and muscles to ski powder or sink a putt, you just have to let it go.  We are  our own worst enemies at times when we fight our instincts and our biggest fans when we can just let the mystery be.