I read recently about the 4 main components of Intelligence Quotient : 1) IQ which is standard school type intelligence and learning; 1A) derived math and science, 1B) memorized English and history, 2) EQ is emotional intelligence, happy/sad sensitivity and how you read and react to people, 3) SQ is social intelligence on how you make and maintain friends and lovers, 4) AQ is adversity intelligence and the ability to stick with things when the chips are down and figure it out and get up. That one was new and surprised me as appropriate and applicable. More on that later.
I would round out the top 10 with: 5) PR which is practical intelligence on the day to day stuff, 6) NB which is nuts and bolts intelligence on how things work 7) PY which is physical intelligence on athleticism and how to play football or ski, surf or compete, 8) CR is our creative side 9) EM is empathy for others and understanding of the common good and public welfare and 10) HW is holistic understanding and general wisdom. We all have different mixtures of each of my top ten spectrum that makes us what we are. My dad used to say “everyone is smart at something; you just have to find out what that is and celebrate it.” Fair enough.
I get that parents should raise their kids to deal with #4 - adversity, to struggle and to fail, and then get back up and try again. Parents these days coddle their kids and try to save them from disappointment. Everyone gets a trophy. They say you should prepare the kids for the road, not prepare the road for your kids. My folks used to predict that I would fail out of every fancy school that I went to, so I didn’t. My dad once told me I was a gum-shoe and too slow and small to be a wide receiver. Then he said I should play quarterback because I was smart and knew the game. Back-hand parenting, I call it. It is old-school, but it works. Every kid should know the back of that hand.
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What I’d rather do is sit on my back porch with my wife and drink coffee and watch the sunrise, and then after an easy day, sit on my front porch and drink a beer and watch the sun set with the neighbors. I am comfortable with who I am, with my achievements and my limitations. I get it that exercising our character for adversity keeps us strong and resilient but I’ve got nothing to prove. I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed but at least I have seven or eight out of my Top Ten Intellect Quotients to get me through my days.
The Golden Years isn’t always about challenging yourself, it’s about rewarding yourself for all you have done by giving you time to rest and relax, think and appreciate, meditate and do yoga, be who you are and do what you want to do. So if I appear a little grumpy and irritable or drop an inappropriate F-bomb now and then, cut me some slack. I’m working and practicing for number 4 – 'adversity now.'
*They say it may be from banging my head too many times that makes me irritable and emotional. Hell, I cry now during the national anthem at hockey games, and it is not even our national anthem. I like Oh Canada better, it’s not so bellicose. I am working on the irritability, but I don’t mind the emotional stuff, it makes me want to be a better man.
**We used to climb mountains, run rapids, forge dessert canyons and ride across continents when we were young, with nothing but a rain shell , water bottle and granola bar, to prove to ourselves and our parents that we could do it. Now, who cares? When I’m out riding now I see a climb up ahead and think ‘AFH’ – Another Freaking Hill – and I’m riding an e-bike. Friends will ask me if I want to take a hike, ride, road trip, or fly to South America for Mardi Gras. I’ve got to say honestly – not really. Been there, done that. I’ve been everywhere – twice.
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