Duct Tape Dream

According to my mentor Tom Clyde, there is a universal symbol of someone who identifies as an old time, old school  local.  Duct Tape.  It can be found on the nicest CMH powder suit and the lowliest old Park West Patrol coat, untimely plucked from the nearest dumpster.  It is usually worn with honor and pride, as a silver badge of courage, longevity and frugality.  It screams a practical philosophy of ‘waste not want not’.  It begs the universal question of ‘if it is not broken, why toss it’.  It echoes Ira Sac’s sentiment to ‘Be More, Appear Less’.  It supports the superstition to never change clothes during a powder cycle or even a good power year.  It honors the fashion leadership of 50-year local John Haney who skis every day, dressed in Duct Tape while eating carrots and sweet potatoes on the lift.  He wears it proudly because, ‘it costs money to lose money’.  And it does.

Duct Tape, not Duck Tape,* is usually utilitarian silver, the kind used by HVAC guys, electricians, plumbers and anybody who has something to fix.   It can by any color, like a blend of black to surreptitiously patch my big-ass,- blown out ski pants, worn proudly, or day-glow for safety and style on the slopes.  I have never been hit or run over in my orange jacket with the pink Duct Tape.  It makes it easier for your friends to spot you but it does make it hard to hide from the ski patrol in the woods when you are peeing or poaching.   

It can be used on skis to stop delamination of the tips, or boots to stop leaks, or poles to make them effectively adjustable - with a thick bump-out rap, one hand width below the handle, or gloves - for that one finger that wears out first as well as goggles, glasses, gators, hats, face, lips, scars, cars, motorcycles, bikes, boards and virtually anything you want to make look cooler. I have a dream.  We should not be judged by the content of our character, but rather by the condition of our clothing.  The only credential we locals, or any of our clothes, need in this town for true acceptability is, ‘They rip’.  And we do.

As a personal addendum to this great idea, all locals should include the year they came to town after their name and signature so we all will know the proper amount of reverence and respect to bestow on them.  It is like a Water Right - Priority Date that indicates when you filed your Water Right, where you are in line to get your full amount of water before anyone after your date gets any.  ‘First in Line, First in Right,’ the water guys say, but they also say ‘Use it or Lose it’, which works here as well.   Your Locals Priority is similarly tied to your residency here and for the ‘Best Beneficial Use’’ of all.  That is defined as 'The Basis, the Limit and the Measure’ of your Right so that also works for your value and seniority in town.  This is not tied to your place of origin, ownership, age, race, identity, money, education, appearance, attitude, altitude or aptitude, just to your Locals Priority Date.  This will establish a transparent hierarchy of accountability and authority for anyone who has any longevity around here and skin in the game. It is only fitting and proper that this should occur.

You might even want to write your Date on your coat with Duct Tape to see who gets first shots on a powder day, the best parking spaces, the first seat on the bus, the best tables at restaurants, the right of way on trails, and perhaps good Sundance tickets.  Maybe they can build a special lane on 224 and 248 or a special line on the chairlifts for those with the better priority dates.  Then John Haney, Tom Clyde and I would always be fashionably first.   As it should be.  

 

Mathew Lindon ’79, Snyderville

* It is not Duck Tape, that is stupid, who ever taped a duck.  And its a Blue Bird Day, not Blooper.