Ai Anomalies

 

        With the promise of Ai to be the greatest thing since sliced bread and the worst thing since the end of the world, I figured I should get my wish-list addressed before it is too late and they go public, raise the price and make trillions.  To begin with it should be Ai not AI which is confusing.  Who Is Al?  It is the same thing that 911 is not 9-1-1 and Jan 6 is not 1/6.  We must keep our disaster pivot points straight.  Call them by their real names.  Stop the steal. 

        If we are going to sacrifice our water, energy, peace and quiet or peace of mind, we should get something out of these Ai data centers besides Bitcoin pricing and Fantasy Football odds.  At least until the massive centers are replaced by quantum computers, in five years, in frozen outer space, the size of R2-D2, that can calculate everything all at once.

        Not to be pedantic, but the first thing Ai can do is get rid of all our passwords.  It is so archaic, annoying and ineffective.  Like the TSA lines at the airport.  And get rid of all spam.  That’s stupid.  While you are at it, get rid of all typing, grammar and spelling.  It’s silly, in any language.  Put a USB port in your neck or Bluetooth, Wi-Fi in your head, and download your dictation, dreams and desires.  Make direct biological connections and cut out the middleman.  Then we can get on with winning wars, curing cancer and altzhimers, understanding the meaning of life, the origin of the Universe, quantum entanglement and superposition, the belief in God gradient, the spectrums of our brains, defining and designing proteins, DNA, disease and do my taxes.  Is that too much to ask.

        Being a traffic guy, I would time all the traffic lights, all at once, everywhere, in real time, for maximum optimization of all of society, and me.  Attach it, predictively, to our maps programs to spread out the traffic around bottlenecks and utilize all the roads.  When the hockey game is out at the Delta Center, sense it and give every road a green wave out of town.  Include our billing rates, annual income, net worth and number of kids in our priority multipliers for the highest economic savings.  Better yet, get rid of drivers and have Ai drive all our cars for true safety and efficiency, connected to maps and people’s heads.  Better still, get rid of cars and have Ai dive our personal drones in am unlimited, three-dimensional grid or space.

        Being a water guy, I would have Ai follow all our storms and compute runoff, in real time, for better flood forecasting and warnings.  Also track the weather and all the models for better forecasts, including powder days, hurricanes, tornados, earthquakes, wind, heat, cold, humidity, smoke, fire, air quality, sun and moon shine.  Water supply and demand forecasting should be improved, and the price of water should affect this iteratively, with water being our newest and greatest commodity, besides clean air.  Deals could be made between farmers and chip producers, cities and cows.  Water can go to the best use or to the highest bidder, depending on your political persuasion. 

        Being a sports guy, I would get rid of referees and umpires and have instant replay review on everything.  Keep one guy around to tell them when to start or where to stand and for the managers to yell at but stop the charade of acceptable human error.  There is too much at stake for it to be humanly corruptible or randomly unpredictable.

        Being a truth guy, I would have instant facts check on everyone with a red light that goes on when they are lying.  Maybe get rid of crooked, non-representative politicians and let us all vote on every issue, instantly from our phones.  Get rid of middlemen in all walks of life and let us buy, sell and trade, stabilize markets, balance supply and demand, perfect the supply chain and curb our conspicuous consumption.

        Finally, there are the impossible things that cannot be solved yet, but we can try.  Like loading a dishwasher or airplane efficiently, processing legal immigration needs or reading my wife’s mind when she says nothing is wrong. How about doing the laundry, food shopping or adjusting our sprinklers.  We will need Ai to give us jobs, purpose and something to do.  It would be nice if Ai could end our divisiveness with an app that will connect people again who agree and disagree and not reinforce our differences.  Then we can decide what to do with Ai.